


Chasing Down a Daydream

by Unicornsniper



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11190921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsniper/pseuds/Unicornsniper
Summary: “Take your pants off, I need them.”





	1. Part I

“Take your pants off, I need them.”

 

Although he usually gave in to all his roommate’s strange requests, this one gave him pause.  Staring at her from across the kitchen, he had just put the coffee cup to his lips and was ready to drink when she breezed into the room, her hand outstretched and waiting.

 

From what it looked like, she had not slept and he could see, clearly, the dark circles beneath her sharp, green eyes.  Her brown, oily hair, pulled into a bun on top of her head, had several pencils sticking out of it and she still wore the hello kitty pajamas that he saw her in when he told her goodnight the previous evening.   

 

He took a sip, carefully neutralizing his face.

 

“You need my pants.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“The ones I am wearing.  Right now.”

 

She rolled her eyes as if he were the crazy one.  “Did I stutter?”

 

“No, but I wish you did,” he sighed and set his coffee cup down.  “I’m not giving you my pants.”

 

“But I need them.”

 

“As do I.”

 

“Cassian--could you just--” and she darted forward, her hands at his belt, already unraveling it with her nimble fingers.  His mind dashed to a different scenario before his practical self reacted and reminded him that this little scrawny thing was his roommate and  _ nothing _ else.  He batted her hands away and brushed passed her, heading to his room with her following close behind.

 

“Elaborate.  Why these pants?” he asked, entering his room and already searching the drawers for a new pair to wear for the day.  

 

She stood beside him and looked at the drawer, pointing to dark black jeans.  “They’re the right color and cloth--perfect for the swatches that I can use to present to my boss in an hour.  I just need a square of it for now and can sew it back up for you when I’m done.”

 

Glaring at her, he wiggled his finger in a circular motion, the national sign for  _ turn around _ which she signed and complied with.  “Where?  From the crotch area?”

 

She laughed.  “And have your penis dangling in the wind?  Of course not.  Besides, there’s a zipper there.”

 

“Why would my penis be  _ dangling in the wind _ ?  I wear underwear, you know,” he responded, wondering how they actually became roommates in the first place.  If he could recall, she was apartment sitting for him while her place was being fumigated and he was chasing down a news story on the other side of the world, but then, suddenly, all her stuff appeared and she was handing him checks for half the rent and utilities.

 

Granted, he did have a large place and his old roommate, Chirrut, had moved out in order to marry his college sweetheart, Baze, which left Cassian with a huge bill to pay at beginning of every month, but he would have liked to have a hand in choosing who he would be cohabiting with instead of having the choice made for him.

 

Yet, despite her strangeness, she was always on time with rent, helped with the groceries (though he did the cooking since she was absolutely atrocious), dragged him out of his “moods” (as she called them) and gave him his space when he needed them.  He also liked her.  A lot.

 

“Just like to imagine the worst case scenario,” she replied.

 

He finished putting on the jeans and folded the ones he removed.  “My penis is your worst case scenario?”

 

But he saved her from replying -- or saved himself from hearing her response -- by handing her the pants that she craved.  She grabbed it and smirked, doing a slight happy dance that made him swallow and look away.  “You are literally saving me.”

 

Gently, he shoved her out of his room.

 

“By the way,” she said, her smile sly and mischievous and he felt his body prepare for the worst.  “That’s a lot of condoms you’ve got in that drawer--going to finally ask the pretty brunette in 2B out?  Leia or whatever her name is?”

 

He shut the door in her face. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “4th street at that coffee shop.”
> 
> “The one where you farted really loud when the barista handed you your change?”
> 
> “I thought it would be a silent one.” Maybe she shared too many facts with him. “And yes, that’s the one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience.  Many things happened and I couldn’t think let alone write so special thanks to @TinCanTelephone for the amazing ideas.  If any would like to offer a line to use in the next chapter, please feel free to leave it in the comments!

On some level, Cassian knew that having a crush on his roommate was creepy especially because she showed absolutely zero interest in him.   Every other day, as she hoovered by the stove sneaking bites of everything he was cooking, she would say something along the lines of, “Did you try asking out the lady in 7F” Or “I hear the lady in 5G was asking about your status” or “For fuck’s sake, Cassian, 3D was drooling all over you.  Why don't you hit that...not like violently--I meant hit her in the vag...with your penis.”

 

Slapping her hand away, he continued stirring the sauce he was making.  “I understood what you were implying.  Please stop talking.”

 

One morning as he got up to make coffee, he saw that she had fallen asleep on the couch yet again.  Looking down at her sweet angelic face that masked a demon within, he felt his heart literally yearn for her.  The realization scared the shit out of him and he resolved to go out with whomever she suggested next.  After all, knowing that all of this was inappropriate, he did what he usually did with all his unacceptable feelings: he suppressed it.

 

But the suggestion came sooner than he expected.

 

Jumping into the kitchen, her hand darted past him and tried to pick up a slice of bacon.  “You need to fuck my boss.”

 

Grabbing her wrist before she could get a piece, he asked, “Excuse me?”  Glancing over his shoulder, he was surprised by how close she was, her hair tickling his cheek and he remembered his promise to himself.  

 

Her eyes were earnestly looking at him, blinking slowly.  “I'm serious.  She needs a good lay.”

 

“And how do you know I'd give her a good one?”

 

Jyn rolled her eyes. “Because of the Opera Singer Debacle.”

 

Letting go of her wrist, he recalled the mortifying incident.  It was his twenty-first birthday and the lady in 5B had invited him over for some birthday sex.  Her moans and screams sounded so melodic that it became legend in the thin walls of the apartment complex and when he returned to his own flat, Bodhi, Jyn, Chirrut, and Baze had given him a standing ovation.  

 

“Then there was the Androgynous Thumb Fiasco or the Optimum Savage Experience,” she continued, counting with her fingers.  Suddenly her face lit up and she cried out, “Remember the Bottom Bladder Affair or the---”

 

He held up one shaky finger and pressed it against her lips.  “Shhh, shhh…” he hissed.  “Let’s not rehash these things.”

 

Jyn brushed his arm away and licked her lips.  “We called you the Panty Slayer.”  

 

Was this what an aneurysm felt like?  Cassian wondered, not for the first time.  Turning back to the pan, he continued cooking.  “Anyway, why do I need to bang her?”

 

“She’s been riding me hard this week--all these preposterous deadlines that I’m starting to lose sleep!  So I figure if someone were to ride her hard…” she winked at him and her smile was so incandescent that it nearly blinded him.

 

“Yeah, I get it--If I ride her hard, then she will be the one to lose all the sleep,” he sighed.

 

She winked.  “So, will you?”

 

“Only if you stop winking at me.  

 

“Done!”  Sneaking underneath his arm, she managed to grab two slices of bacon and shoving it into her mouth.

 

“So, does this make you my pimp?” he asked.

 

“Only when money exchanges hands,” she replied, banging her shoulder into his as she turned to walk away.  “Don’t forget to show a bit of skin; I think she’ll like that.”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Her eyes wandered back to the clock on the mantle and she realized that it had only been thirty minutes since he walked out of the door.  He was dressed way too sharp, despite ignoring her suggestion of showing skin, and she could have sworn drool escaped her lips the second he stepped into the living room.

 

“Do I get a pass?” he asked, adjusting his choice in clothing.  Who knew a simple sweater and jeans could make her feel so wet?  

 

Shoving a beer in her mouth, she used her other hand to swivel, the international sign that let him know she wanted him to turn around.  He did as instructed and she composed herself before she managed to squeal, “Yes, bitch, work it!”

 

His lips quirked, lighting his face and she purposely glanced back at the television.  “So, do I get an ‘A’?”

 

“I’d say a hard ‘C+’,” she replied nonchalantly and drank more of her beer to cover up her most blatant lie but he didn’t seem to notice as he checked his watch.

 

“Okay--so I’m supposed to meet your boss where now?”

 

“4th street at that coffee shop.”

 

“The one where you farted really loud when the barista handed you your change?”

 

“I thought it would be a silent one.”  Maybe she shared too many facts with him.  “And yes, that’s the one.”

 

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

 

Then he had left and she immediately slumped into the couch, regret washing over her.  She had since kept her eyes on the clock, wondering if he really was going to bang her boss or if he was coming back that night.  

 

It was his fault, really, that she felt this way.  He was just so--so amazing in every way possible.  Before she knew it, she had developed a small crush on him that climaxed when she walked into their shared apartment one day and he said those iconic words that she replayed over and over in her head: “Welcome home.”

 

He said it offhandedly but it had changed her entire world.  She had never had a real home before and now he offered her friendship, safety, food, and a place where she could be herself--it was more than she deserved--but Cassian...Cassian deserved someone better.  He deserved happiness and she knew that she was too messed up to give that to him, so she resolved to find him a better companion.

 

The movie she was watching was quite boring, though a sex scene started that was getting interesting.  It was at that precise moment that the door burst open and Jyn jumped, completely startled.  Cassian paused, his eyes landing on the TV and watching the actor moan.  “Did you want to be alone?” he asked, as he turned to look at her.

 

“Uh--n--no--wait, what are you doing here?  That was quick.  How was her ‘O’ face?”

 

Closing the door slowly behind him, he said, “Jyn--your boss…”

 

Sitting up, trying not to show the relief on her face, she asked curiously, “Did she not show up?”

 

“No, she was there.”

 

“And--oh,” and she could not disguise the disappointment that marred her face.  “Is she behind the door?  Did you need the apartment?”

 

“She’s not interested in me,” Cassian interrupted.

 

“What?  Why not?”  Who wouldn't be?

 

“Because I have something that she doesn’t want.”

 

“What?  A beard?  We can get that taken care of.”

 

“No...no, lower than that.”

 

Her eyes scanned his neck and chest then landed on his crotch.  “O--Oh?"

 

“Maybe you should be the one to hit it--you know, not violently.  In her vagina,” he said as he fell into the couch next to her, his arm draped about her shoulder, “with your tongue.”

 

“You said that way too readily--I assume this is a fantasy of yours?” she asked, snuggling into his shoulder.

 

“One of many,” he replied.  After a moment, he said, “This movie is awful.”

 

“Feel free to change it.”

 

She could feel his head swivel.  “You’re closer to the remote.”

 

“I’m too comfortable to move.”  

 

“So we’re stuck with this nightmare?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

When she woke up, she realized that she was being carried.  Her eyes still shut, she felt one strong arm around her back, holding her close to a warm, solid chest, and one beneath her knees.  Careful not to shift, she felt his heartbeat, steady and comforting.

 

“You’re awake,” a gruff voice whispered into her consciousness.

 

“I am,” she replied slowly and opened her eyes.  A large and fluffy green parka was draped over her body, the smell of Cassian invading her senses.  Although he wasn’t looking at her, she could tell that he was tired.

 

“Now that you’re awake, you can walk.”

 

She snuggled closer.  “Yeah, but you’re doing such a great job carrying me.”

 

There was a flicker of a smile before he shifted her and she could hear a door open. Setting her down on her bed, gently, she felt herself frown.  No, Cassian needed someone better than her.  She just had to go out and find that person.

 

He pulled the covers over her shoulders.  “Night, Jyn.”

 

As he turned to go, she felt something bubble up and burst through her mouth.  “Cassian?”  When he turned to look at her, she had no idea what she wanted to say--she just knew that she wanted him to stay with her longer, even if it was for a second.  “I forgot to tell you when you came back...welcome home.”

 

"Thanks, Jyn.  It's good to be here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to random word generator for those acts that Cassian performed.
> 
> Also, thank you for any kudos and comments! I sincerely appreciate it!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wanted to bite him. She hadn't decided if it would be in a malicious or sexual way yet but knew she was losing her restraint and felt her fingers flex into a tiny fist as she stared at him.

She wanted to bite him.  She hadn't decided if it would be in a malicious or sexual way yet but knew she was losing her restraint and felt her fingers flex into a tiny fist as she stared at him.

 

Cassian Andor was many things and insufferable was currently at the top of the list.  “I will not throw 12D  _ my bone _ , as you put it,” his voice was gravelly yet deathly calm.  

 

Ignoring the rush of emotions that filled her tiny body at the sound of his delicious voice, she snorted.  If she could just get him a good, solid wife, she could stop obsessing over his penis. “It makes sense.  Both of you need to get laid so you're not so--” and she waved her hand in the air, searching for the right word but her mild shock at how bad he took her suggestion was getting to her.

 

“So what?” He asked in that same voice.  Now he was peering at her through the hair that had fallen over his eyes.  It made him look slightly menacing but she was immune to this as she had met this exact expression more than once.

 

“You're not going to help me search for the words, are you?”

 

“No.”

 

Peeking behind her, she noticed that she had drawn other people’s attention.  It didn’t help that they were standing near the entrance of their building, whispering feverently at each other.  Sighing she turned back to Cassian who was now leaning against the wall, his eyes unreadable.  Getting on her tippy toes, she leaned over his body, her chest brushing against his causing her body to involuntarily shiver, and whispered in his ear, “So tight.”

 

His body twitched at her words and she slowly lowered herself.  

 

“I am not tight.”

 

“You’ve been in a bad mood all month.”

 

“Because you haven’t stopped pestering me about getting a date.”

 

“Because you’ve been super moody and need to get laid.”

 

“I’m moody because I need a break from getting fixed up.”

 

“You don’t like my choices?”

 

“Of course I don’t--First of all, that woman you suggested just insulted you--”

 

“ **She told me to jump in a lake...so I told her to** fix her crotch rot since our eyes are watering from that terrible odor.  I’m not crying over it.” His lip quirked ever so slightly, but she still caught the movement and felt slightly less vehement. 

 

Running a hand through his hair, he said, “Why would I want to go after her?”

 

“She was eying you the same way I stare at churros--she just said that shit to make me look bad.”

 

“I don’t want to sleep with someone that insults you.”

 

“Why not?  She’s one of the only single women around our orbit.”

 

There was a brief exchange of glances, before he replied blandly, “I can see why.”

 

“She’s beautiful.”

 

“So?”  Pausing, he narrowed his eyes a little, really looking at her then started chuckling.  “You have no idea what my type is.”

 

Jyn hesitated as she had never thought of that before.  He had a type?  Since when?  “I thought anything with a,” and she used her hand to circle her crotch area in a huge circle, “vagina would be your type.”

 

He grabbed her wrist and looked around, hoping that no one was watching them.  His fingers were strong and she briefly had a mental image of those same fingers caressing her flesh.  “You’d be surprised that not every guy is willing to hump the first vacant vagina that comes into view.”

 

“Right,” she scoffed.  "And the  **next thing you know it'll be the apocalypse by man-eating roaches...** "   
  


“You don’t believe me?  You think that all men are attracted to any girl.”

 

“Well, not the ones who aren’t interested in girls.”

 

“Okay, if that’s the case, then why aren’t guys hovering around your womanhood this instant?”

 

She opened her mouth to respond but didn’t want to admit that it was due to her undesirability.  So, rather than respond to his question, she turned and looked about and eyed someone she vaguely recognized from 2K--a super tall man with square glasses and Jyn jumped out in front of him.  “Hey, sir, would you like a piece of this?” she asked with her thumbs pointed at herself while she wiggled her hips.

 

Cassian was between her and 2K in a second.  “Please excuse this one, she’s actively trying to kill me.”  Turning to her, he dragged her back to their corner and said, “Please don’t do that again,” but there was definite laughter leaking from his lips.  “You look ridiculous.” 

 

“It’s what I’m good at.”

 

When he gathered his wits, he continued, “Anyway,’’ he started, looking at everything but her, “if we went by your logic, that would mean that  _ I’m _ attracted to you,” and suddenly his dark eyes were on her, engulfing her and she could feel her desire for him increase.

 

Suddenly, out of her own volition, her hand mushed his perfect face, pushing it away from her and nervous laughter erupted from her lips.  “Oh, yeah, uh, you’re--you’re right.”  He tried to grab her wrist to stop her from shoving him, but he couldn’t seem to get a firm grip.  She laughed, knowing it sounded strange in her ears, but she couldn’t stop feeling awkward and weird--she had to get out of there ASAP.  “And there’s no way you’d be interested in me...Well, going to get beer and--yeah, I’ll see you in a bit.”  Turning on her heel, she ran to the nearest store, Cassian yelling something about rain, but she had already turned the corner and could only hear the sounds of her internal monologue berating her with every step. 

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

When he looked up at the clock, it was nearly eight.  She had been gone for almost three hours and he was worried sick.  The storm had hit almost two hours ago and she had left hastily without her umbrella.

 

Of course, that had been his fault.

 

Part of him knew that he shouldn’t have said the last thing to her--shouldn’t have pointed out the flaw in her logic, but he wanted to see--wanted to check on whether or not she felt for him even a small minutia of what he felt for her, but he had only succeeded in embarrassing her and making her uncomfortable.  Banging his head in his hands he also realized that he also, possibly, ruined their relationship.

 

For as long as he had known Jyn, she had always been skittish around romantic relationships.  He had only witnessed her with one other fellow who had gotten himself nearly castrated by her own hand when the idiot cheated on her, though Cassian hadn’t helped matters when he had run into the punk at the local bar.  

 

“Whore should be grateful I went out with her--no one in their right minds would ever touch her,” the douchebag had muttered.

 

“ **Grateful?  I’ll show you grateful!** ” Cassian growled before the brawl began.  Of course, Cassian had won that fight, muttering, “ **Stick that in your pipe and smoke it** ,” as he left  but it didn’t mean anything when Cassian went to visit Jyn at her own place and saw her furiously eating every pint of ice cream known to man.  He wanted to comfort her then and there, but had no way of knowing how.

 

She had taken one look at him and asked, “Douchebag?”

 

“Douchebag,” he confirmed as he slid down next to her.

 

“Did you get him?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“You hurt?”

 

“Not as badly as him.”

 

A dark smile had flittered over her face and she hissed, “Good,” before handing him an unopened pint of coffee ice cream.  “For the pain,” she said, indicating the ice cream.  “It’s helped.”

 

His eyes wandered back to the clock once again before he decided that sitting and waiting was pointless and he had to go out there and find her.  

 

Grabbing his jacket, he was shoving his arms through the sleeves and opening the front door when he froze in place.  Standing in a puddle, completely soaked through, Jyn stood at the front door with a plastic bag in her hand. 

 

“Jyn,” he sighed, completely relieved, and immediately went to her.  She flinched as his hand enclosed around the bag and he berated himself once again.  It was stupid of him to think that she would like him more than a friend.  Plucking the bag from her fingertips, he left the door open and her in the hallway, knowing that she probably needed space.  “I’ll be putting these in the fridge,” he said as he swiftly went into the kitchen.

 

He was hyperaware of her every movement, hearing the squelching of her shoes as she entered their home and as she shut the door.  She would probably head to her room and then he would continue to bang his head against every hard surface he could find. 

 

“What is your type?”

 

Cassian turned, her eyes catching his and he was trapped in those green depths.  She stood near the counter, a few strides away from him as water streamed down her forehead.  

 

“Shouldn’t you change?” he asked.  “You’ll catch a cold.”

 

“In a bit--what is your type?”

 

Seeing the stubborn way in which he stood, he knew that she wasn’t going to change.  Gritting his teeth, he dashed forward, gripping her forearm and pulled her toward their shared bathroom.  “A girl who’s stubborn, apparently,” he muttered.

 

The water that fell off her body dripped a staccato beat, the echoes cascading through the small bathroom and the tile only amplified the sound which was something he was grateful for.  It masked his heartbeat, pounding in his chest while he pulled two towels from a hook and turned to her.  

 

Wordlessly, she understood his intention and grabbing one towel, she folded it into her hair while he held the second.  When she stood, once again, he moved forward and wiped her face, removing as much water as he could before sliding it to her neck.  “She’s the kind of girl who radiates strength and wit and loves a good challenge,” he murmured as she pulled off her coat first.   Continuing to rub the towel over her arms, he said, “She cares about others but pretends that she doesn’t.”  

 

Knowing that the towel wasn’t doing much good in her rain soaked clothes, she reached for the hem of her shirt and Cassian pulled back slightly, narrowing his gaze so she couldn’t see the want or need that he knew would be shining in his eyes. “Cocktease,” he accused, to diffuse the tension.

 

“Only yours,” she replied, her old warmth and humor returning “Is this a preview of how the Panty Slayer slays?” she laughed as he moved to stand behind her.  

 

“Did you want me to demonstrate?”  He didn't miss the color that blossomed up her back as she shivered and shook her head, frantically. 

 

She lifted the shirt over her head and threw it on the floor.  Her jeans followed soon after, leaving her in her bra and panties while Cassian rubbed the towel against her body in slow, methodic circles.  After a moment, he could feel her leaning into it as her head fell forward.    

 

“Better?” he asked after a few moments.

 

She gave an affirmative grunt.

 

The anxiety ebbed slowly, replaced by relief.  “Good,” he murmured and continued.  “My type is feisty and can hold her liquor…”

 

“So far, you’ve described Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  Are you trying to tell me you’re in love with that guy?”

 

“Why do you think I insist we watch  _ The Toothfairy _ all the time?” he asked sarcastically.

 

“Because you’re a masochist?”

 

“That, too, I guess.”

 

He squatted and began rubbing her hips and thighs and was grateful that Jyn couldn’t see how red his face was becoming.  “What else do you want to know about my type?”

 

“You haven’t said any physical traits that this girl must have.”

 

After a short pause as he moved the towel down to her calves, he said, “Doesn’t matter too much, though I have a preference for green eyes.  Also, I like short girls.”

 

“Easier to catch them before they run away?”

 

He whipped the towel at her before standing up once again.  Draping the towel over her shoulders, he was looking down at her when she turned to look up at him with a perky little smile on her lips.  Leaning over her, invading her personal space, he said in his lowest register, “Exactly.”

 

He stared at her a beat too long and he had to rip his eyes away from her face.  “Get dressed--I’ll make us dinner.”

 

“But you forgot to dry my boobies.  And my crotch is moist.”

 

He laughed as he exited the bathroom, his voice booming as he said, “And the Panty Slayer strikes again!”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

They were both sprawled on the couch, Cassian reading while twirling a strand of her hair between his fingertips and Jyn laying her head on his laps while flipping through channels. She was back in her hello kitty pajamas but now wore a robe to help keep the cold off her skin.   

 

She would have been an idiot if she did not know that the type of girl he was describing in the bathroom was her and it gave her both pride and a strange type of fear.  Part of her still did not feel worthy of this--after all, she had no idea what a good relationship entailed, but looking back on their life together, he had always been there for her and she knew and felt that he would always be there no matter what stupid, idiotic stunt she pulled.

 

As she continued to flip through the channels, something caught her eye.   _ The Toothfairy _ was on TV and she began laughing hysterically.  “Your boyfriend is on,” she grinned.

 

They watched maybe two minutes of it before Cassian cried out, “ **I’m dying!  Literally dying!  And you’re not invited to the funeral if you don’t change the channel** !”

 

“Oh come on, Cass--how many times do you get to see your type?”

 

Catching her eye, he took a deep breath and murmured “Daily.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to @TinCanTelephone and @summersrage for the great suggestions that were incorporated in this story! Hope you all enjoyed it and once again thank you for the kudos and comments! Don’t know if this will be continued but if an idea pops in ye old brain, it will be.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know. That's why I'm superior. Now show me that butt.”

There are moments that define the trajectory of a relationship.  In the back of Jyn’s mind, she understood this concept but as she stared into the earnestness of Cassian’s gaze, she could feel herself freezing up.  Suddenly, his hands, warm and callused, were around hers, holding them loosely and giving her the option of pulling away if she decided to.  

 

She didn’t.

 

She couldn’t.

 

She wouldn’t.

 

Not with Cassian.  He had welcomed her home--had offered her a world filled with hope and wonder.  She couldn’t fuck this up.

 

But a small voice in the back of her head knew that she was despicable.  No one had wanted her--mother, father, guardian, ex-boyfriend--all had abandoned her choosing death, work or Linda in IT instead of living with her and the fear of opening up her heart once again was painful.

 

“I like you...more than a friend,” he murmured and her world shattered.

 

For a split second, there was a flicker of something imperceptible in his eyes and if she were just a little more cognizant of emotions, she would have been able to read it; however, the life she had lived--her lack of family and friends--she could not understand it fully.  Suddenly, he looked down, hiding whatever it was that she could not interpret.

 

His words hung between them, gradually taking shape into an inflexible wall.  His hands, still holding hers, started to falter as she realized that it was actually her turn to voice something.  Cassian blinked, withdrawing slightly and Jyn panicked.  

 

“I like your bulge.”  She could feel her eyes rolling into the back of her head before she shut them completely.  What had she done?  “I,” she licked her lips, her brain short circuiting.  Speaking under pressure was difficult.  “I sometimes stare at it when you’re not looking, trying to gauge what you’re packing.”  She knew she should stop talking but her tongue refused to listen.  “Your friend Kay and I have an ongoing bet but we haven’t confirmed it.”  

 

There was a beat of silence followed by, “Is that why he keeps trying to take a peek when we’re in the bathroom together?  I thought he just liked me.”

 

And there was her opening.  All she had to do was be her normal reckless self and admit that she was the one that liked him, so why couldn’t she?  

 

_Because you’re repulsive_ , her brain supplied.

 

Instinctively, her hands clamped down around his, desperately, pulling his fingers toward her and pressing them against her lips.  She kissed the tips, hoping he would understand the meaning as her eyes desperately tried to grab hold of his gaze.  “I--,” she croaked against them.  “I … can’t...”   _I can’t speak._

 

She found it too hard to look at him, so she kept her focus on his chest, staring at the wrinkled fabric straining against his rather defined chest.  “It’s okay,” he soothed, though his voice cracked slightly.  His hands glided against her jaw and slid to a spot behind her head.  He tugged a little, tilting her head forward to rest against his own.  “I didn’t tell you to force you into anything, Jyn.  I would never do anything that made you uncomfortable.  Just...just talk to me.”

 

She breathed deeply, letting him cloud her senses.  His warmth, his touch and his scent all coiled around her frozen body, slowly thawing her.

 

Before she could respond, his phone rang, startling her.  They both looked at it, scowling.  “You should get that,” she murmured instead, already pulling his hands away from her and backing away.  “It might be important.”

 

His hands fell away easily, but his gaze anchored her down.  “It can wait.”

 

The phone stopped ringing for a few seconds only to start once again.  Rather than him continuing to ignore it, Jyn darted forward and picked it up.  Checking the caller ID, she tossed it to him with a grimace.  “It’s your boss.”

 

Heading to her room, she heard him curse before he answered the call and she shut her door.

 

Turning her back to the door, she felt herself lean against it and slide down until her butt hit the wooden floor.  Leaning her head back, she yelled at herself, **_This is all your fault!  And, if you don’t fix it,_** _Cassian’s bulge_ ** _will no longer be your biggest problem_** _._

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Java the Hutt was a small coffee shop three blocks from her flat.  It was a well favored establishment housing two of Jyn’s favorite things: pizza and coffee.  The best drinks were It’s a Frap and probably C-Tea P.O. The award for best pizza, however, would probably be the Ham Solo.  After all these years, she wondered why the damn place had not been annihilated in the court system for the obvious infringement on a famous franchise, but they did make one hell of a cup of coffee so she figured it was probably bribes.

 

Outside the double doors, she paused, staring at a tall and lanky man.  He stood almost two Jyn’s high and wore a three piece suit the color of gunmetal.  He looked immaculate, with not a hair out of place and glasses perfectly polished.  “You’re glowing,” came the sardonic voice.  “How disgusting.”

 

“It’s good to see you, too, Kay,” Jyn responded while trying not to punch him in the face.  

 

Kay Tuesso was a hard person to describe.  Actually, no, dick was the perfect word for him.  Despite his rather prickly nature, he had an honest wit that drew Jyn toward him.  It only helped that they both had a shared protectiveness over Cassian, whom they both agreed, worked himself to the bone for a job that couldn’t give two shits about him.  Kay worked with Cassian at the news organization as a programmer and researcher, two things he excelled at, and was also one of Cassian’s confidants.

 

It should not have surprised Jyn to see Kay there that morning, especially when she noted that Cassian was not in the flat as she left.  Silently, Kay held the door open for her, followed her in, and waited until she finished ordering before he asked, “Get laid?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Yet?”

 

Jyn fidgeted.  Judging from the way the man smiled, all teeth but no mirth, he knew something that she did not and was unwilling to share.  Dick.  “Working on it.”

 

“Well, I can already tell that you’re not trying hard enough.”  Before she could hope that he would offer real advice, he pointed to her face.  “Lack of makeup, terribly dark circles under your eyes...I would have said there was a 50/50 chance Cassian finally went balls deep,” she cringed at that description, “or insomnia became an issue.”  Kay adjusted his glasses.  “Or both.”

 

“Insomnia.”

 

“A pity.”

 

“You _want_ me to sleep with Cassian?”

 

He stared at her, nonplussed.  “And date.  Possibly marry if the mood strikes you both.  Afterall, you and he could do much worse, as we’ve seen on many, _many_ occasions.”  The way he stretched the word many on the second iteration grated on her nerves.  “I still have nightmares over that woman he took to our holiday party.  What was her name?”

 

“Don’t remember.  I think we called her Mechanical Sex since her moans were so…stiff...” She recalled the woman with the wide mouth and intriguing taste in clothing--or lack thereof.  There were many moments that Jyn had to remind MechSex (or McSex) that see through meant that a person could actually see through the clothes.  “She...had nothing to hide.  I found her interesting.”

 

Kay shivered.  " **Well I hardly think** she **qualifies as the eighth wonder of the world but** she's **pretty impressive, I'll give you that**.  Did you know she had the Chinese characters for testicles tattooed on her butt?  That was something I did not need to see."

 

Grabbing her coffee, she followed Kay to a table.  “Why would anyone get that?”

 

“A valiant question that we will never have an answer to--after I told Cassian, he broke up with her the following day.  Said something about not being able to unsee it.”

 

“I mean, who could unsee testicles on a butt?”

 

“Especially one as pronounced as hers--”

 

“KAY!”

 

“Well, it had quite a bit of definition.  I had suspicions that Cassian was an ass man but she 100% confirmed it.”

 

Jyn was silent as she sipped her coffee, thinking.  Finally, quietly, she asked, “Do I have an ass?”

 

“I should certainly hope so.  If you didn’t, you would be a medical anomaly.”

 

“No, I meant something that Cassian would like?”  It was weird.  She never had a hang up on her body before but this conversation was getting to her.  In fact, the more she thought of it the more she realized that she was like nothing that Cassian ever dated.  All the girls were tall, curvy, light hair and dark eyes as well as demure or sexy or everything that she was not.  Not even remotely close to the “type” he had indicated while drying her off.  Was he lying?

 

“I've honestly never checked.  Get up and bend over.”

 

“What?”

 

“I need data.  This isn't anything sexual.  Not attracted to you, remember?”

 

“You're not attracted to anyone.”

 

“I know.  That's why I'm superior.  Now show me that butt.”

 

“Ugh, no.  Forget it.”

 

“Come on, Erso, let the world bask in your derrière.”  Kay was outright laughing even as Jyn kicked his shin.  “Why the hell are you blushing?”  When Jyn didn't answer right away, Kay sobered quickly, turning analytical.  “Wait, are you upset?”

 

Her eyes darted toward him and whatever he read made him frown.  “Don’t tell me you’re self conscious.”

 

Slouching in her chair, she crossed her arms and murmured, “Have you seen all the other women he’s dated?”

 

“Yes and have you seen how they all turned out?”  Sighing, Kay took a long drag from his drink before replying.  “Look, Erso, you don’t need to get your panties in a twist over those girls.  He didn’t date them for any long term purpose--he never even had an actual, serious girlfriend that he ever contemplated spending the rest of his life with until he met your dumb ass. I have never seen the man so _enamored._ ”  The last word was said with such disdain that it made Jyn blink blink.

 

“Don’t try to spare my feelings.”

 

“I would never dream of doing that.”  And he wouldn’t.  If anything, Kay was too honest.  “Look, we both know that Cassian is kind of an idiot when it comes to feelings but in his defense, so are you.”  Taking another sip, Kay leaned back in his chair.  

 

“Me?”

 

Kay’s eyes narrowed before his face became somewhat neutral.  “You outed our bulge hypothesis.”

 

She scowled and immediately knew Kay’s train of thought.  So the two of them had spoken.  Even recalling that moment made Jyn cringe. Fuck, she was an emotional idiot.

 

“Why would you say that?” Kay asked after she told him her side of the story.  “The odds of that coming out of your mouth should have been slim.”

 

Banging her head lightly against the edge of the table, she hissed, “I panicked.”

 

“But, reference to his package?  Couldn’t you have gone with, ‘Oh, Cassian’?  No--no, that does not sound right--at least not coming out of _your_ mouth.  Maybe if you still wanted to bring up his dick how about, ‘Your penis is not my worst case scenario.’”

 

She stopped banging her head and looked up at his smirking face.  She downed the coffee, preferring the burning sensation of the liquid rushing down her throat than the shame that currently plagued her.  " **Right. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go home and have a heart attack."**  

 

Kay laughed and grabbed her elbow before she could make her exit.  “Wait, wait, wait.”

 

Glaring at him she ripped her arm away from his grasp.  “What?”

 

“I have known you for exactly two years now and throughout our acquaintanceship, and possible friendship,” he stuttered at the word, friend, “there is one thing that has always stood out to me: You are a woman of action when under duress.  Just say whatever the fuck is making you stupid and when you do not have the right thing to say, show it.  Cassian may be an idiot, but I’m sure he will understand what you mean.”

 

Jyn was silent for a long time before she said, incredulously, “We’re friends?”

 

Kay sighed.  “From my studying of the textbook definition, yes, we are, unfortunately, friends.”

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Cassian had left the flat late last night.  Due to the ill-timed call, Draven had summoned Cassian into work with a new assignment that required extensive research.  As the night faded into dawn, he heard Kay enter and may have, in his sleep deprived brain, confronted him about his sneaking peeks in the bathroom.   

 

“It’s quite hefty,” Kay responded blankly.  “Erso believed it was some astronomical size but I told her that _that_ probability was minute.  My hypothesis was that you possibly stuff it and I was merely gathering data.”

 

“Not making me feel better.”

 

“Was I supposed to?” Kay had asked.  Then he shifted his eyes and stared at the computer.  “You must have been here all night, again.  Will you require coffee?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

“I will return in an hour.  If not, please avenge my death.”

 

“Only if you didn’t deserve it.”

 

“The likelihood of my deserving it is pretty high.”

 

“At least you are aware of this.”

 

But that exchange was hours ago and as day started to shift back to night, a small instant message popped up in the corner of his screen.  Glancing over to it, he smiled at seeing her screen name.  Maybe he didn’t entirely fuck up their relationship as badly as he thought he had.  

 

_Stardust: I don’t know how to talk to you anymore_

 

_Cassassin: I see_

 

_Stardust: How do we get over this?_

 

_Cassassin: The only way we know how_

 

_Stardust: And that is…….?_

 

_Cassassin: With honesty, with caution, and with a shit ton of time._

 

Biting his bottom lip, he waited.  He didn’t know all of Jyn’s past but when she first appeared in his world, he remembered how closed off she seemed to be, with a determined frown constantly distorting her face.  Chirrut, the office’s music writer, had found her in one of his then boyfriend’s (now husband’s) self-defense classes and she had struck a chord in him.  

 

“Distant,” Chirrut had called it as they talked over lunch.  “Not unlike you when we first met.”

 

But to him, it felt different.  He could see it in flashes of interaction between the two of them like there was a fire inside of her that was yearning to spread, but carefully erected walls were slowly snuffing it out.  It was painful to witness and he had made it his mission to find out what would happen if he tore down those walls

 

The longer he got to know her, along with Chirrut, Baze, and eventually Bodhi, a photographer at the paper who later joined them, the more her walls began to crumble and crack, letting in another slew of people such as Kay and that douchebag ex-boyfriend of hers that did more damage than was necessary.

 

But there were moments that flame would flicker through the walls and he could feel himself getting drawn in and wishing he could get burned.

 

_Stardust: I’m broken_

 

_Cassassin:  As am I but you stayed with me_

 

_Stardust:  Of course.  You’re you._

 

_Cassassin: And you’re you._

 

Three dots appeared and disappeared over  and over until finally,

 

_Stardust:  So, are you with me?_

 

He thought for a second.  After all, she was being brave enough to be completely honest with him, so it would only be right for him to be 100% honest with her.

 

_Cassassin: All the way._

 

_Stardust:  Good...please come home?_

 

Looking at the mountain of work still sitting on his desk, Cassian turned back to the screen.

 

_Cassassin:  Be there in 20._

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

When Cassian walked into their flat, it was completely silent.  Setting down his messenger bag by their coat rack, he stepped further into the living room, cocking his head to the side and listening intently for the slightest noise.

 

Sniffing, he detected a slight shampoo smell--something fruity that belonged entirely to her.  It was both warm and inviting and made him feel warm and alive.  

 

Shit, he had it bad.

 

Walking further into their living room, he stopped at the sound of a slight curse that erupted from the bathroom.  Drifting toward the sound, he stopped momentarily to see her wiggling her butt while she listened to music on her headphones, and brushing out her hair.  He watched, amused, and leaned against the door frame as she shimmied.  He must have made a sound because she suddenly stiffened and swiftly spun on her heel, pulling her headphones away at the same time.  Her eyes were wide and her cheeks tinged pink.  

 

It took all of his willpower not to move forward and crush her lips against his.  Instead, he pushed himself up and shoved his hands in his pockets, to keep them still, and glided into her personal space.  Before he could say anything, he saw something flicker in her gaze and she shook her head slightly, moving forward while dropping the brush and shutting her eyes.  

 

Suddenly, he felt something startling.  It was more shock than anything else and the words, “Did you just cup my balls?” fell out of his mouth before he could hold them back.

 

Her fingers flexed and he took a deep, deep breath to try and clear his already clouded mind.  “D-depends.  Did you like it?”  Her voice faltered slightly, as if she had no idea that she was going to do that as well.

 

“You’re still doing it.”

 

He could feel himself stiffening.  “Oh,” she murmured and licked her lips, feeling his reaction.  A small, erotic smile adorned her lips.  “So, _do_ you like it.”

 

“I think you know the answer to this.”

 

“Yes, but I’d like to _hear_ it.”

 

What a little vixen she was, he thought before his brain started stuttering.  “Y-yeah.  It’s nice.”

 

“Nice?”

 

“What other word would you prefer to hear?”

 

“I don’t know, but I wasn’t expecting ‘nice’?”

 

“I wasn’t expecting you to cup my balls, so we’re even?”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“A little, yeah.  I’ve dreamed of your hand there for way too long but didn’t think I needed to have an already memorized soliloquy to mark this momentous occasion.”

 

He took a slight step forward and wound his arm around her waist, pulling her closer, dark eyes landing on her lips.  “So were you or Kay correct on your bulge hypothesis?”

 

Again, her hand slid over him, squeezing once again.  “I think I win the round.”

 

He had mentioned to her on their instant message exchange that they would take it slow but she was making it harder for him, both figuratively and literally, and he did not quite know how.  “I th-thought we were going to take it slow,” he murmured against her lips.

 

" **Oh, gosh darn the passage of time,** " Jyn murmured as she pulled him down for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @tincantelephone for the line suggestions--it inspired!!! And thank you to @roverkelevra, @fern and @newleeland...reading your comments made me realize that I forgot to include the kiss scene (oops!) so we needed to get that in this story.
> 
> I legit laughed at Cassian’s chosen screen name because I’m an idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't a clue where this is going, but the first line has been running through my head all day and needed a place to rest.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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